Hell’s Kitchen – SS.



Scene setting – The Lab

co-written with Temp and Moo.


Razorbackwriter:  There was still the lingering scent of death high upon the wind, that would reach the towering building known as Hell’s kitchen. Doctor Wilhelm Schwartz stood upon the top most balcony, with a pair of high powered binoculars watching for the return of Igor’s cart. He had sent his most trusted hump backed servant to go and fetch as many bodies as he could, for what would be a wonderful week of dissection and scientific testing. Taking out a pipe, he placed it between his teeth – chewing on the end as he snickered to himself. No more digging about for dead bodies. The wars of the Princes was providing enough bodies to keep him going for a lifetime. Soon he raised the binoculars again, and there he saw him. Riding at the top of a tremendous pile of body parts was Igor. Snapping at the reigns to get the old horse to pull the cart faster. Really the Doctor should have gone to help, but he wasn’t keen on getting his lab coat muddy.

Taking off from his place on the balconey, he ran down the spiral stair case and then out into the main courtyard, as Igor drove the cart load into the open space. Blood was still dripping from many a body and it truly was a gruesome sight to someone with a weak stomach.

“IGOR! WELL DONE! How many did you collect?’ The scientist asked while rubbing his gloved hands together.


“About….fifty. They are really a dead weight when you gotta load em up on top of the other. Most are from Greed. Right shame.” Igor said, jumping down off the pile of bodies and then bowing before his Master. “Where you want them, Master? In the ice room, or in the lab for dissection?”

The Doctor picked up a head off the pile and the turned it around and started to sing.

“I….ain’t got no …..body!”

Igor rolled one of his eyes and then started to offload the cart of bodies onto a waiting trolley. “Lab then.” Together the pair worked to offload the cart, all the while the Doctor had a fiendish look on his face.




Temp:  Roxanne could be heard singing in the distance, the light taps of her heels upon the floor made her approach towards Wilhelm and Igor clear. “Do you neeeeeeed any’boooooody’!?” Her words became completely clear as she walked up next to Wilhelm and Igor, carrying a body along with her. She danced with it and spun towards them both, only to let the body go and flop onto the trolley. “I need some’body’ to looooove!” Her singing and dancing had stopped, since her addition to the docs had been finished. Roxanne would now assist in loading the bodies onto the trolley. “Doc! Igor! How’s it…hangin?” She said as she pulled out a body that had a noose around it’s neck. She couldn’t help but laugh at her own stupid joke. For a group of people handling a bunch of bodies…they all seemed rather cheerful.


Razorbackwriter:  With Roxanne joining in on the chorus of sound that was started by the Doctor himself, you would think that Hell’s Kitchen was more like “Hell’s – Whose got Talent?” not a place where dastardly deeds happened to the dead and…almost dead. The Doctor showed a crooked smile when he heard Roxanne, then he tapped his nose at her pun of the hanging man.

“Do ho ho ho. Splendid…just splendid. Many specimens and all fresh. Look, you can still get a bit of movement out of a few that haven’t had rigamortis set in.” He picked up an arm and waved it at Roxanne, while in the background, Igor was busy trying to dump load after load of dead body bits onto the trolley.

The Doctor’s work was going to be so much easier now, thanks to the war. He was almost hopeful that not all the bodies had been incinerated by the hell fire that came from Wrath. As Igor finished with the first trolley, he then pulled it in towards the lab, while the Doctor addressed Roxanne.

“Ever notice that Igor’s hump seems to switch sides on his back every day?”




Temp:  Roxanne giggled in delight as Wilhelm waved at her with the arm of a corpse, which she immediately responded to with a wave of her own. She was enjoying herself, as was he. The environment they were in combined with their attitudes would likely be disturbing to outsiders, but to them it was the norm. While fumbling with the bodies, she noticed a rather fresh looking female. She laughed as she poked at the bodies chest. “Look Doc! Still Jiggly!” Roxanne giggled as she continue to poke and prod at the corpse, but eventually stopped and continued with loading the corpses. When confronted with the question about Igor’s hump she placed a hand on her chin, gently tapping away as she thought. “Y’know…I have noticed that! Maybe it’s alive! We could turn it into a pet!” Probably not the best of ideas.


Razorbackwriter:  “Well…if anything we know that Igor is always ready for Hump day…get it? Hump..day?! Bahahahaa -cough- Aha.” One thing for certain, the Doctor loved his profession. Anything to do with body parts or blood, or….corpses made him smile. The wicked retorts from his favorite nurse just kept on coming. “More jiggle than jello, in that one. Nothing like a ripe peak on the perfect booby.” With the cart being trundled off by the ever faithful yet slightly macabre Igor, the Doctor then turned his attentions back to the witty nurse. “Roxanne….you don’t have to put on a red light!” If this lab was any crazier you would think it was a musical.

With a renewed skip in his step the Doctor headed inside to his grisly laboratory, where there were already many projects on the go. Bodies suspended in a special amniotic fluid with tubes going in every orifice. There was a large sheet covered object on one of the slabs, that was covered with a sheet, and being strapped down with large iron bands. One…from the vault.

Rubbing his gloved hands together and standing in front a row of machines, that beeped and blinked in a variety of colors, the doctor was truly in his element.

“So….Roxanne. Got any new patients?” He hadn’t checked the waiting room, and figured that Roxanne would know the schedule off by heart.



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