The missus bought a paperback
down Shepton Mallet way.
I had a look inside her bag;
T’was Fifty shades of Grey.
Well, I just left her to it,
and at ten I went to bed.
An hour later she appeared;
the sight filled me with dread….
In her left she held a rope;
and in her right a whip!
She threw them down on the floor,
and then began to strip.
Well, Fifty years or so ago;
I might have had a peek.
But Mabel hasn’t weathered well
She’s eighty four next week.
Watching Mabel bump and grind,
could not have been much grimmer.
And then things went from bad to worse.
She toppled off her zimmer!
She struggled back upon her feet;
a couple of minutes later.
She put her teeth back in and said
“I am a Dominator!”
Now if you knew our Mabel.
you’d see just why I spluttered,
I’d spent two months in traction
For the last complaint I’d uttered.
She stood there nude and naked
Bent forward just a bit
I went to hold her, sensual like
and stood on her left tit!
Mabel screamed, her teeth shot out;
My God, what had I done?
She moaned and groaned and then shouted;
“Step on the other one!”
Well, readers. I can’t tell no more;
’bout what occurred that day.
Suffice to say my jet black hair
turned Fifty shades of Grey.
Magnificent hilarity.
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Glad you enjoyed it. 🙂
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I may just have to change my breifs
And hang them on the line.
A doctor maybe needed,
but please call him in time,
Cos i ave only read a little bit
And have yet to read chapter nine
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LOL. That is pretty accurate.
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Reblogged this on galesmind and commented:
This is hysterical. Good job I started my day with a big laugh!
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Excellent!
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Reblogged this on ally1lakeside.
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Oh my God! :”D This is hilarious! Loved it!
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🙂
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“No favorites!”
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Hilarious! Well done. 😉
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Unbelievable! Original and hilarious, love it!
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Too funny!
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I love this. What a great sense of humor. I needed a laugh. Thanks.
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O.
M.
G.
Hahahahahaha 👍👍
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It is a cool way to celebrate the book and the upcoming movie! Smiling at this one!
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This was so funny. I loved it. Thanks for the laughs!
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love it! (but not the mental image!!)
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Very cool…and disturbing!
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Very funny! I guess why not? For all ages to enjoy, why not 84 🙂
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I know right? Feel sorry for Granddad though…lol.
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They say we only regret what we didn’t try to accomplish, now grandpa has one new tale under his belt, perhaps one never to try again!
🙂
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Either that or he might invest in getting her a bra…..with studs.
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I never read that book, but I’ve certainly heard plenty about it. Your poem was very clever and quite amusing! : )
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lolololololol
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Reblogged this on As I wander around our wonderful earth, I slowly find myself and commented:
Funny!!!
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This is hysterical! I’ve tears in my eyes.
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-hands cath a tissue-
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lol Thank you
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Reblogged this on erotiqueink and commented:
Amazing.
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Hilarious! Well Granddad should consider himself lucky that some fire was still there for him…. Next time, who knows, he’ll shave his head and become Yul Bruner.
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Help. I have fallen and I can not get up!!!
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Reblogged this on Marilyn Munrow and commented:
Hahahahahahahahahahaa this is so funny. Thank you so much for the lovely laugh, or the titter i should say. hehehehehehe
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You are so welcome. 🙂
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Reblogged this on hugmamma's MIND, BODY and SOUL and commented:
Makes me wanna read the book. Not so sure about doing what it says though. Better wait until hubby starts hormone replacement therapy. Like to have him around enjoying retirement with me, rather than up in Heaven twiddling his thumbs…wishing he could go another few rounds. OOPS! Now wasn’t that naughty. Read on and you’ll see what I mean. And make sure you laugh. After all, it’s only fiction. Or is it???
………hugmamma.
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Reblogged this on Books and More.
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Your poem is a scream. Most poetry is so staid and conservative it get lost in its own self-importance, but not yours. It’s fresh and funny. Thanks for the follow, I will reciprocate.
PS I wrote a poem called ‘Ode on a Litter Box’ that you might find amusing (a takeoff on Keats.) We need more humor in poetry.
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Ooo I must check that out. Cheers.
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😀 funny
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Glad you liked it.
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You win. From the heart stopping title through to the very end. Thank you.
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Oh. My. God. That was hilarious! Definitely sharing this a few friends. The title was perfect… I HAD to read this to find out where it was going and once I started I couldn’t stop!
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The idea of Granny reading Fifty shades is a bit daunting. LOL.
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Hi … author here – John Summers from Swansea, UK … see http://www.theguardian.com/books/booksblog/2013/mar/28/50-shades-pastiche-pam-ayres-el-james …. dont mind you posting at all. Shakespeare it’s not!
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Reblogged this on FatChick411 and commented:
Tall Tale Tuesdays are usually all about books, but this week, It’s all about this little ditty I found this morning. I think we can all use a good laugh to start the day. Enjoy!
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Razorbackwriteraus,
This is some damn fine poetry writing! And a perfect example of what I am hoping people will add to my #howdoilovetheepoetryparty linkup event. I hope you’ll consider bringing this beauty to my party. It’s just getting off the ground now but I know everyone will enjoy reading this dirty little ditty with so much wit and stimuli we cannot help but giggle just a little to loudly!
http://memeesmusings.com/2015/02/10/how-do-i-love-thee-poetry-party/
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BRILLIANT!!
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Reblogged this on Confused Intern.
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Funny
Thanks for dropping by https://wdfyfe.wordpress.com/
I’m busy hunting through your blog. You have an interesting take on the world — eclectic is the word that comes to mind. Good stuff
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Love it!!!! Never read 50 Shades though.
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I didn’t need to read 50 Shades to be able to laugh at this little ditty. 🙂
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Any time a granny is getting jiggy, its worthy of a laugh.
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Thanks for making me and my hubby LOL! Your poem is AWESOME! 😊😊😊
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Just from the bush
Thanks for liking my Post. I enjoyed your 50 Shades of Grey.
How do you like this:
https://ikejakson.wordpress.com/2009/05/16/grandpa%e2%80%99s-hearing-aid/?relatedposts_hit=1&relatedposts_origin=1117&relatedposts_position=0
And oh yes, where I live you have to tell which bush you are from. We have all sorts of bush and animal life around.
Take care.
IkeJ
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so funny!
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That’s hilarious! Although not my usual scene. : )
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