The Great Burnt Badger.

CAUTION, ADULT CONTENT AND SWEARING AHEAD
NO NAMES PLEASE

ATTENTION ATTENTION ATTENTION….
PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT….
DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES PUT CHILLI OIL OR VICKS (YEAH THE SMELLY STUFF) ANYWHERE I REPEAT ANYWHERE NEAR YOUR VAGINA!
THIS COMES TO YOU VIA ME THE POOR SUCKER…. SITTING IN THE MATERNITY UNIT WITH MY A$$ AND SAID VAGINA BOILING THE ICE BUCKET IM SITTING IN…
I WANT TO GO BACK TO PEELING MY RAW EGGS (THAT WAS YESTERDAYS BABY BRAIN) NOW….
I’m actually laughing…. could be the pain…. could be the stupidity…. could even be the pain relief…. but anyways… just DONT DO IT….
34 weeks pregnant…
DAY ONE OF THE GREAT BURNT BADGER…
Ok soooooooooo I hate chilli HATE IT…. but we have a chilli plant (HAD A PLANT…. I AM BURNING THAT EVIL DEMONIC BASTARD THING IF IF I EVER RECOVER) I’m picking the poxy little things for the MR to pickle (he just looooooooooves the asshole to burn APPARENTLY well that’s what I think) I picked these tiny pathetic little lava suckers…. get in the house and sneeze…. shit shit shit waddle waddle waddle I need to peeeeeeeee waddle waddle DONT LEAK DONT LEAK…. yes made it… omg soooooooooo good….. and wipe…. holy freaking shit balls mother fooker god damn I’m seeing stars the pains intense…. I scream…. hubby comes and gets me and puts me onto the bed…. I’m screaming and thrashing about begging for something anything to stop the burn….. he gets a cold flannel…. it helps…. then Mr says ill put some Vaseline on it…. in his rush he grabbed vicks…. he smoothers it on…. the shit just slides off as its too hot down stairs to stick BUT it does mat into my nice little mound of lady flufff the stuffs like superglue in cotton wool…..
I am now laying/tossing/thrashing about in bed and have a twat that is burned to the buggery, matted lady fluff that’s like a little bush on fire (wish chilli bush was on fire) and I am too scared to pee…. mind due it would probably be cooler than I think…. my bum hole is just as hot…. Ever tried walking to a car with the demonic hell fire pits raging through your groin????!!!!! My legs were spread that damn wide trying to get a cool breeze the neighbours and all saw me wheeled out via the ambulance men again surprised they fitted me through the door as my legs still spread…. mind due the neighbours know my vag was on fire… I was quite vocal about it…. I’m going to have to move I think…..
The rate I am going I could probably write a book….
I’m calling it
Baby brain fook ups and burnt badger
the MR says to me as I am sitting in my god damn ice bucket “honey aren’t you afraid the ice might I don’t know slip in your bum or somewhere……..”
No asswipe no fooking way in hell would they do that as the fooking things fooking melt before they get anywhere fooking near it….
The nurses have asked him to go for a walk….
But yes I must admit hairs not a issue anymore(was trying to decided waxed shaved or trimmed for birth).. all smooth…. not sure whether it self combusted and burnt off… or they shaved me or it melted…. fantastic for hair removal….
Now….
I wonder if it will grow BACK…..
Its ok dinner at maternity has arrived…
Chilli con carne….
Can i possibly scream any louder?
I can hear Frozen’s “let it go” from the nursery….
Well hopefully tomorrow is better….
DAY 2….
Ok so the badger is recovered not as hot as it was…. farted though and the warm air set my butt hole alight…. to scared to shit…. mind due the frozen condom ice pops are fantastic but every time I walk it sounds like fanny farts…. still haven’t been game to look…. from the feel of things my poor flaps are hanging and feel like bubble wrap…. went for a checkup today…. they saw me and took all their strength not to laugh…. mind due I’m walking with my legs spread that far the baby will probably fall out…. one wrong move and I will do the splits… was laying down watching a cooking show with the MR hes still not game to come near me…. they were cooking clams…. he smiled adoringly at me…. I threw my coffee cup at his head asshole….
Day 3….
BURNT BADGER UPDATE….
MUST MOVE TOWNS STATES EVEN….
NEIGHBOURS LAUGH AND WAVE IF THEY SEE ME….
MATERNITY IS IN HYSTERICS AND BABIES ARE POPPING OUT FROM MUMS LAUGHING….
MY BADGER FEELS LIKE DRIED UP OLD LEATHER….
ALL OF THESE I CAN LIVE WITH….
MY FOOKING CONDOM ICE POLE BADGER COOLER…. WAIT FOR IT….
FELL OUT IN THE MIDDLE OF WOOLIES FRUIT AND VEG….
FELL
OUT
IN
FRONT
OF
MASS
AMOUNTS
OF
PEOPLE
A DELIGHTFUL LITTLE SHIT HEAD OF A TEENAGER SCREAMED HER DILDO FELL OUT…
YEP
WORSE STILL I’M HOLDING A…. CUCUMBER….
MY FACIAL CHEEKS ARE NOW JUST AS RED AS THE BADGER…..
Now someone asked if I was wearing knickers…..
Yes I was wearing knickers….
Oh course I was wearing freaking undies did you miss my post about NASA searching my back yard for a ufo which turned out to be my massive fucking granny knickers blowing in the wind on the line?
I may be a little out there and all but I do NOT make a habit of running around knicker- less….
But there again i also don’t make a habit of rubbing chillis on my flange either…..
Nor screaming MY VAG IS ON FIRE….
But this last week I have burnt my badger…. I walk like I have a pineapple up my ass and freeze condoms full of slush and wedge it in my crack…. fuck it might as well go all out and just go naked….

I want to believe

I want to believe

In the words they say

The promises they make

The plans they lay

 

But everyday

You get a different view

The people are now

So very confused

 

We want leadership

Someone to admire

Someone to trust

But the dreams

of the people

are turning into dust

 

More talk of war

Less on equality

Less on love

All I see now

Is the death

Of the white peace dove

The Witches Circle – Only the beginning : PD

Following on from Power and Corruption, Mariela has to make a choice over family versus the Elders.  Is this choice a costly mistake?

Co-written with Fu and Dessy.

RP – Fantasy Supernatural.

Fu:

Witches Circle

https://i1.wp.com/i60.tinypic.com/2wo96z6.jpg

– Oridin listened quietly as people spoke to the newcomer , back and forth several terms fly back and forth and slowly The Apprentice tried to piece these things together slowly . Hearing the titles such as prince and princess being thrown around ; he was only to suspect they were of royal value like he was back in his own lands but seeing the difference in situation he was to assume that he was outclassed by them . Oridin would begin to think to himself in quiet, lowly talking to himself as to not bother the current conversation going on with the elders and the newcomer and her party-

Oridin Lexington : ” Gluttony , Wrath and Greed ? Sounds like Sins. If thats the case then there should be more . And if there are more , then I hope to see them up close ; may learn a thing or two from them however that doesn’t seem easy . I must find an alternative for now , or simply hold it off until whatever seems to be happening no longer risks my safety if I do go . Hmm , The Glutton ate Wrath ? Would that entitle him growing stronger ? ”

– The Male rubbed his chin as he thought in his silence ; seemed like he was a child with big dreams but he was not a kid after all : He was the equivalent of a mature young human man of course with special traits but that didn’t change how he seemed to have been thinking . Hearing the Council of people speak about a proposal of protection the male listened eagerly about what was to come ; what did that mean though . –

 

Dessy:

The Witches Circle.

 

https://i2.wp.com/38.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_luhf5hRAZy1qc9geoo1_500.gif
Mariela’s eyes turned to the one who was speaking, checking him over quickly, before narrowing her eyes in suspicion.“Are you even aware of what goes on beyond the walls of Greed, Princess?” he asked, and Mariela’s eyes were still narrowed in suspicion. “No, I do not. But I don’t feel the need to involve myself in other’s problems that doesn’t deal with me, or my people.” she spoke firmly. He continued speaking, walking closer. By this point, the witch known as Lavinia was turned to give the one speaking her full attention, asking the one – who she now knew as Shamus – to explain.

He began speaking about the Prince of Gluttony, and Mariela turned her head to watch the next one speak. He killed… the Princess of Wrath? Mariela’s eyes widened, although this expression still could not be seen. He was power-hungry… that much was obvious. If he killed the Princess of Wrath, there was nothing stopping him from heading her way next. Although Mariela wasn’t the least bit worried. As proven with the battle against Lydia – she could handle her own. If anything, Mariela would prefer to stay neutral on the entire situation.

Hearing Scar’s voice, Mariela turned to look at him. Of course Scar would be concerned – but he really had nothing to worry about. Now, there were talks of him having to take another royals hearts. Was it hers? Mariela highly doubted it. As far as she was concerned, no one even knew Lydia was dead, or that there was a new Princess of Greed. “It’s not mine.”Mariela spoke matter-of-factly. “Considering news is just now starting to reach everyone about Lydia’s death, I doubt it’s my heart he’s after. As far as everyone else beyond this circle is concerned – no one even knows who the new ruler of Greed is supposed to be.” she spoke again. “Therefore; how can it be the heart of someone no one even knows about?” she spoke again. She certainly brought up a point. Couldn’t exactly plan to take the heart from someone you knew nothing about. And if it was Lydia’s heart they needed… it’s a little too late for that.

“Besides…Lavinia here has offered you a chance at protection. She just banished the Prince herself. Could you possibly do something like that when the time comes?”

Shamus spoke, taking another step forward. “Can you?” he pulled out a wand, then winked at Tessa. This caused Tessa to shiver, and Sean and Sam instinctively stood in front of her. “What would you do, dearie? Put the family first or save yourself?” he spoke, and he sounded like he was making a threat. Mariela didn’t like threats – especially towards her family. Obviously she’d put her family first – there was no doubt about that.

https://i2.wp.com/38.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lzwmz91zJb1r4kfic.gif
Mariela looked at everyone behind her, before looking at Shamus. “As much as I appreciate the offer for protection…”Mariela started, also stepping forward to meet Shamus. “… I don’t need it.” she spoke. “As already proven against the fight with Lydia – I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself.” she spoke. “I killed the former Princess of Greed. As far as I’m concerned, banishing a royal won’t be an issue.” she spoke. She then took her hands, finally removing her hood to reveal her face. A beauty, with a certain kindness that could be seen – yet her blue eyes narrowed to stare back at Shamus, her blond curls falling over her shoulder. A beauty, that was smart, and could be dangerous when provoked. Lydia proved that. “Now, Shamus…” she then spoke. “That sounded like a threat. If there’s one thing I don’t like – it’s threats. Especially to my family.” she said, then took a step back to look around.

“My family comes first.” she spoke, looking back at Shamus. “I’d rather die a thousand times over and over again to protect them, then save myself and watch them die.” she spoke again. ‘I’ve already died once to protect them. I’ve already killed twice to protect them – one of them being what sent to me Hell, and the other being the death of Lydia. I’d willingly do it again if I had to.” she spoke. “If I have to kill every ruler of Hell, or every one of you to protect them,”she started. “I wouldn’t hesitate a second.”

Razorbackwriter:
The Witches Circle.

In the background, Marguerite stood silently whilst listening intently to all that was being said. The young witch truly did not know of the plots and schemes that raged across Hell and its many kingdoms. The Black Matriarch had her own wishes thwarted with the untimely death of Lydia, who she had hoped would be married to her own golden boy, Raul. She stood with clenched fists, still regaining her strength from the pull placed on her by the Queen of all witches. Hearing Mariela say that few outside her own realm knew about Lydia’s death was incorrect. News had already been spreading like wildfire as it had reached the Black tower, not to mention the Embassy. Marguerite began to walk around the outer ring of the circle, her movements not being noted as she blended in so well with all other Elders in attendance. The Dark One was stealing the show, or at least that is how it looked. Mariela giving her all to show that she would not be intimidated by the likes of the Dark one, or the head Elder – Lavinia. Whilst the young witch was shocked by the news of the possible death of the Princess of Wrath, and that the Prince of Gluttony himself had been banished from the circle, she concluded that since she had no such qualms or disagreements with the other kingdoms that that in effect made her neutral out of all of Hell’s Kingdoms. It was enough to make the Dark one laugh all of a sudden.

“Do you even know why the Prince of Gluttony sought a new arm in the first place?” Perhaps it was time that Mariela brushed up on her history of the Kingdoms. Revenge and hate were powerful forces and something like the loss of a limb would hardly be forgotten, even if it had been replaced. Leering, Shamus said. “A greedy little bastard of a Prince named….Mammon. Oh yes….you have inherited a Kingdom that was at war with the others. Don’t think for a second that you being the new Princess would make him suddenly want to kiss that dainty hand of yours in alliance.”

Stopping only to take a breath, the Dark one felt the eyes of Lavinia drilling into his back. Lavinia was approaching and her shadow was moving errily to encompass him. The Dark one had had his fun, and said his piece. She held her patience long enough. Placing a hand upon his shoulder, with an extra ordinary amount of strength Lavinia whispered with a dark tone.

“I summoned her to the circle, Shamus. You have done enough damage for one day. Leave.” Her words were said so as to make no mistake that he was treading on dangerous ground. With her awakening she was far more powerful than even he could have imagined. Lowering his wand he slyly pocketed it and wet his lips.

“As you wish….dearie. Tick tock. Ehehehe.” With a snap of his fingers, the Dark one vanished from the circle, now clearing the way for Lavinia to speak to Mariela directly. A calmness spread across the Elder witch and she bowed her head as though to show respect towards the new Princess of Greed.

“You have made your choice. Whilst I won’t say I am disappointed that you have rejected the offer, I shall respect it.”This was a once in a lifetime deal. Witches were not elevated to Elder status on a whim, and with the young witch going as far to say that she would protect her family against all comers, be it the other leaders of Hell or the very witches council that stood before her, Mariela had just made a terrible mistake.

Lavinia’s eyes cast across to Mariela’s family. Staring at each in turn before coming back to end the meeting between them.

“Good luck in protecting your family, girl.’ Lavinia suddenly grinned. “You’re going to need it.”

https://i0.wp.com/media3.popsugar-assets.com/files/2014/03/18/925/n/1922283/08f92b5e223c1c24_Maleficent3.gif.xxxlarge/i/Maleficent-Movie-GIFs.gif

Picking at the edges of her skirts, she turned away from the group from Greed, and then raised her right hand waving all to leave the circle. The meeting was over. The hands of time continued to move and in the next seven days as the sands fell, no one was safe – no matter how much courage and determination they had. A raven swooped down and landed upon Lavinia’s shoulder as she started to make her way back towards her cottage. In droves the other Elders began to either vanish, or take flight. The only ones that didn’t leave were Esme and Oridin. The apprentice watched in surprise as the elders were all leaving without speaking more on the time piece. What the hell was going on?

Esme hurried over to Oridin and chewed her lip as she said. Esme had heard his questions about all the other sins, and how he was fascinated about what power could be harnessed if the Prince of Gluttony could swallow another royal like he did Wrath. “This is bad. This is….really bad. Lavinia just withdrew support.” Looking up at the Princess of Greed, Esme swallowed.

https://aneeshchaganty.files.wordpress.com/2011/03/chloe-amanda-seyfried.jpeg

“You were right about the heart. It’s not yours that is needed, but that does not mean that you are out of danger. This….is only the beginning.”

Marguerite was the last of the Elders to leave. As she raised her hood, she had a twisted grin and then cackled as she spun her cloak and returned to the Black tower. The Matriarch was about to set plans in motion herself.

https://i0.wp.com/38.media.tumblr.com/c067b604116a1590b7ad6acf2359c531/tumblr_n5136l5aSn1snsjmyo5_r1_250.gif

~RB~

Peter Allen : Not the boy next door – TV sneak peek.

Due on Australian Television on the Seven network in September, 2015

The two part mini-series tells the remarkable story of Peter Allen’s rise from country New South Wales to the Hollywood Hills – becoming part of American entertainment royalty along the way. Managed by Judy Garland at 20, married to Liza Minnelli at 23 and the first Australian to win an Oscar (‘Arthur’s Theme’) and a Grammy (‘I Honestly Love You’ – Olivia Newton-John), Peter Allen is one of Australia’s most adored entertainers.

If you loved the INXS special, ‘Never Tear Us Apart’, you will love this.