“Dacking” – : Fitzy and Wippa’s take on Pharrell William’s “Happy”

 

Dacking – Aussie slang for pulling down your mate’s pants.

Enough said…..just watch the clip.

 

In the last 5 weeks we have played a game
Where your private parts could be on display
When theres prime opportune to inflict some pain
Over there, without a care, and its time to shame

Because I’m dacking…
Come along and watch me pull his jeans down to his shoes
Because I’m dacking…
Clap along if I accidentally grab his undies too
Because I’m dacking…
Clap along if I dack him waiting in a que
Because I’m dacking
Clap along if you chuckle at someone partially nude

Here comes my hands and down come his pants
You try to live to live your life, but you just cant relax
You think, tightening your belt, will be just fine
No offense to you, don’t waste your time, here’s why…

Because I’m dacking…
Come along and watch the velocity of his shorts travel to his shoes
Because I’m dacking…
Clap along if the peanut wears his pants real loose
Because I’m dacking…
Clap along if you’ll laugh if I dack him in his suit
Because I’m dacking
Clap along if your keen to witness a full moon

Bring them down… Your running shorts…
Bring them down… your jeans are too high…
Bring me down… ya trackie pants…
Bring me down, at the photocopier
Bring me down…When you order your lunch
Bring me down… your aggots say hi…
Bring me down… can’t nothing…
Bring me down, I said…

Bring me down… can’t nothing…
Bring me down… your love is too high…
Bring me down… can’t nothing…
Bring me down, I said (let me tell you now)

AC/DC-It’s A Long Way To The Top (If You Wanna Rock ‘N’ Roll)

Nothing beats classic Oz rock and it doesn’t get any better than AC/DC.  This was filmed by the Countdown crew in the middle of Melbourne in the 70’s on the back of a truck.  It’s a far cry from the stadiums that AC/DC has filled for decades.  “It’s a long way to the top if you wanna rock and roll” was parodied by kids as “It’s the long way to the shop for a chiko roll.”   Very old school.

“It’s A Long Way To The Top (If You Wanna Rock ‘N’ Roll)”

Ridin’ down the highway
Goin’ to a show
Stop in all the byways
Playin’ rock ‘n’ roll
Gettin’ robbed
Gettin’ stoned
Gettin’ beat up
Broken boned
Gettin’ had
Gettin’ took
I tell you folks
It’s harder than it looks

It’s a long way to the top if you wanna rock ‘n’ roll
It’s a long way to the top if you wanna rock ‘n’ roll
If you think it’s easy doin’ one night stands
Try playin’ in a rock roll band
It’s a long way to the top if you wanna rock ‘n’ roll

Hotel motel
Make you wanna cry
Lady do the hard sell
Know the reason why
Gettin’ old
Gettin’ grey
Gettin’ ripped off
Under-paid
Gettin’ sold
Second hand
That’s how it goes
Playin’ in a band

It’s a long way to the top if you wanna rock ‘n’ roll
It’s a long way to the top if you wanna rock ‘n’ roll
If you wanna be a star of stage and screen
Look out it’s rough and mean

It’s a long way to the top if you wanna rock ‘n’ roll
It’s a long way to the top if you wanna rock ‘n’ roll
It’s a long way to the top if you wanna rock ‘n’ roll
It’s a long way to the top if you wanna rock ‘n’ roll

Well it’s a long way
It’s a long way, you should’ve told me
It’s a long way, such a long way

The pain behind his laughter – SS.

Though Doctor Wilhelm kept everyone merry with his wit and banter, the truth of his tale was a far darker one than anyone had imagined.

Scene setting : Hell’s Kitchen.

Co-written with Temp and Moo.

Moo:  Narcissa’s enthusiasm had subsided slightly, even while she continued to prod Loc’s fine clothing on his bulky arm, the creation stared at Roxanne. She tilted her head, a small smile still well placed. When had this place become so gloomy? These were feelings she wanted to ignore. Gloom and doom was not in the least Narcissa’s style. Still, it was hard to give the least bit empathy when she herself hadn’t experienced sadness like the others had. If one thought about it scientifically, she actually had no soul. Or, it was so blank, she could be compared to a child; still lost to the negativity in the world. So, when Roxanne finally spoke, the Frankensteinian girl nodded her head to show her excitement. Everyone knew the girl loved to be used for help around the lab. There was never a job too big or small! She would take them all on! “Loc is one lucky guy! He wakes up and meets pretty Roxanne! And then he gets to dance with her!” The giant seemed to share her enthusiasm the more she spoke, as he laughed and made unintelligible noises to showcase it. Roxanne had to be adorned in something astonishing! She was a lovely person with the most gorgeous figure to be complimented. Her personality was something Narcissa admired, and her dedication to the lab was even better. Tonight would be another night of happiness for the lab team, even if poor Igor couldn’t be a part of it. Unfortunately for the pair, Narcissa was having trouble in picking out colors. She dashed about the room in circles, picking dresses from hangers to toss them away, or throwing them over her arm. “This one’s pretty! This one’s better!” constantly being heard from different spots in the room. She was like a buzzing bee while she moved around quickly. “Umm…” She frowned as she stood in front of the nurse, dresses piled on both arms until her ears. The variety of skirts fanned out in a cluster of colors and patterns.

Temp:  Roxanne’s mood was brightened just a bit thanks to Narcissa’s cheery self, but it was far from completely recovered. She felt as if she was broken for some reason. This weak feeling was terrible and she wanted nothing to do with it. For now she put on her ‘happy face’ and clapped her hands in appreciation of Narcissa’s assistance. “Thank you, Narcissa!” She would remain quiet and calm as Narcissa went to look for an outfit for her. When she did finally return she had wound up bringing quite a bit with her, instead of just picking one thing. She was as confused and lost as Narcissa was at this point. Her head turned to look up at Loc, a smile making it’s way across her face. “What do you think Loc? What would you like me to wear?” Why not include him? He was her biggest fan after all.

Razorbackwriter:  

Hell’s Kitchen – The Doctor’s chambers

It really wasn’t that long ago that the Doctor lived what would be considered a normal life in a large city with his beautiful girl. The girl he had loved for as long as he could remember. They both attended the same university and met in the library of all places – searching for the same book on anatomy. At the time, the med student was a tall, scrawny looking type with thick glasses and a wild hair do that he often had to bind up into a makeshift ponytail. A loner with dreams of greatness, he hardly had time for the dating scene. Never considered that any girl would even glance in his direction. But that day, as they both reached for the same book, their fingers met and that was when Wilhelm became lost in the beautiful blue eyes of what was to be his muse…..his first and last love. Taking his hand away slowly, Wilhelm coughed nervously before using the tip of his index finger to push his glasses up the bridge of his nose. “Forgive me…” Wilhelm coughed as he had not meant to touch the girl’s hand. “I was reaching for…” The girl giggled and then took the book off the shelf. “Seems we both were.” A small pause and then as the girl cradled the book to her chest, she offered her hand to the nervous Wilhelm. “I’m Maddy…Maddy Jefferson. I’ve seen you before. Wilhelm, right?” Course she had seen him before in class, but he tended to keep to the back and to himself. A slight nod, with cast down eyes – Wilhelm stood uneasily before Maddy, afraid he would trip over his own tongue if he said something. Maddy seemed to pick up on this almost instantly. This shy..reclusive young man who appeared so awkward around girls had the most brilliant eyes she had ever seen, up close. A growing smile crept to her face as she came up with an idea. “Why don’t we share the book….you know, study together. My roomie is going back to her folks this weekend and….you can come over. No distractions.” Wilhelm turned his shoulders in as though trying to appear smaller, he was really out of his depth since a girl had never asked this of him before. “Err….okay.” Was this a date? Nah, it was just studying. Little did Wilhelm realize that this would be the start of a blossoming romance. They did meet on that weekend, and discovered a joint love of biology, cybernetics and forensics. One study session turned into two….and two into four. Before long, Wilhelm and Maddy were inseparable. What started out as friendship turned into romance. Their graduation was to be the beginning of a new life. Both having passed with honors and had the world at their feet.

Moving in together in a small one bedroom apartment in the big city, they started working at the same hospital. Thought the hours were long, they got to see each other at least. Wilhelm had plans…..grand plans. He had been saving up to buy an exquisite diamond engagement ring as he planned to ask Maddy to marry him. Wilhelm was going to take her out to dinner to Fresco’s – a swanky restaurant uptown. He’d made the bookings and though she had a long shift before, Maddy promised to meet him at the restaurant.

Seated at the window table, wearing a smart black suit with a small rose in his lapel, Wilhelm played with the ring box on the table, as he waited and kept checking his watch for her. She must have been at least half an hour late. Traffic was pretty bad and then it started to rain. As the rain poured down, little did Wilhelm know that Maddy was on her way. Having taken a cab from their small apartment, she had gotten stuck behind a large truck with the traffic banked up for three blocks. Eager to get to her love, she alighted from the cab and then started running down the street. It was bucketing down and her hair was getting wet but she didn’t care. She reached the intersection across from the restaurant and could see Wilhelm sitting at the table. She smiled and waved before running out across the road……..

~LONG HORN BLAST!!!!!!!!~

The sound of the truck’s horn made Wilhelm’s head turn slowly and that was when…..his heart stopped. Maddy’s body was thrown forward and then went under the truck tires. Wilhelm doesn’t remember screaming her name as he leapt to his feet and ran out from the restaurant. A crowd of onlookers rushed to the scene forming a ring around where Maddy’s lifeless body lay. Wilhelm had to fight his way through the crush, only to see her hair in the puddle of blood. She was dead. Falling to his knees, Wilhelm screamed as the cry tore from his throat, cradling what was her head on his knees. The truck driver was a frantic mess and had to be held back as the police turned up to inspect the scene before them. It was shocking as it was heartbreaking.

~The Hospital morgue.~

Wilhelm stood by and watched as the leading morgue physician was performing the autopsy of Maddy. His face was blotted and red from crying. His eyes red and swollen. Both hands were clenched into fists as he watched on. The odd clink of medical instruments being used as the doctor worked quickly and efficiently. Cause of death was impact of her head hitting the road. She was killed instantly. Once the report had been written up, the physician turned to look at Wilhelm and came over to offer his condolences. “She was a beautiful girl. Such promise. Such a shame.” Wilhelm couldn’t find it in him to answer. He just stood there like a zombie. It was as though….he had died with her.

“Go home…there is nothing you can do.” The morgue physician left the room quietly, closing the door behind him to give Wilhelm a few solitary moments with his beloved. Wilhelm slowly reached out to caress Maddy’s cheek. She looked so peaceful. That was the moment that Wilhelm decided there was something he could do.

All those years studying. His own private obsession of reanimating the dead was about to be put to the test. Wilhelm quickly bundled Maddy’s body into a laundry hamper on wheels and covered her up with a sheet, before pushing the trolley out of the morgue. He was stealing her body to take home to that dingy one bedroom apartment. Over the next few days, he worked using tools and equipment he had stolen from the hospital. Long nights tirelessly working on her body, which was already starting to rot. He didn’t seem to notice the time that was flying by. Wilhelm was trying to do the impossible and bring his beloved back from the dead. But what Wilhelm did not know was that her soul had already left her body. She was nothing a rotting shell. An empty vessel.

One night, as he slaved away; a dark presence filled the room. Was it Wilhelm’s tortured mind that was creating this phenomenon. It talked to him. Sweet lulling tones, almost caressing the doctor’s head. Urging him to keep going. He could do it. He could do anything if….he believed. Soon Wilhelm spoke to the entity. He was losing patience. Everything he tried so far was not working. That was when the Devil chose his moment and made Wilhelm an offer he could not refuse. For his soul….he would have one last dance. To bring her back from the dead and give Wilhelm the gift of the Creator. Would Wilhelm of agreed if he was of sound mind? Probably not, but he had nothing to lose. Maddy….was his life.

And so it was done and at that moment the body on the table opened her eyes. Soulless….eyes. Wilhelm ran to her, crying out her name, but she simply stared at him blankly. What makes us unique is our souls. Without them, we are as empty as a glass jar. Wilhelm shook her…screaming her name, but she simply stared back at him with a cruel smile playing upon her lips. The devil had won. Tormented by the horror of seeing this wretched corpse grinning at him, pushed him finally off the edge of sanity. Picking up the nearest scalpel, the Doctor shred the corpse into pieces. Hacking at her as she simply laughed at him. This was his hell…this was what he sold his soul for. Once she was dismembered, the laughing stopped. The body limp once more. Wilhelm was covered in blood, but there were no tears. He would not cry again for her till……this night. The night of the ball of Greed.

~Fade to black~

Hell’s Kitchen – The Fitting room

Loc became excited to see Roxanne paying him such attention. He made a goofy laugh when Narcissa entered the room. What a guy. He stared at the bandaged Nurse and then heard her ask him what HE would like her to wear. Grunting a few times, he thudded over to the closet and started to go through the racks of clothes and dresses. He was pulling out dresses, and the rainbow of colour was filling the room, as he kept searching for just the right dress for Roxanne. Red, blue, green, yellow, gold. A real rainbow of fancy frocks. Finally, he pulled out what could best be described as a gorgeous off the shoulder gown that was littered with sparkling diamonds. A big pink love heart covering the front down low that swayed back and forth and a long train. Something that was like out of a movie. Along with it was a pink feather boa. Loc held both out for the Nurse with a toothy grin. “Shiny!” The creation bellowed.

~RB~

The Child Priestess – BC.

Selina offers up more information about her past.  Could something so fanciful be true?

Scene setting : The City Library – Blood City.

Co-written with Temp and Gene.

 

Razorbackwriter:  

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There was no mistaking the look on Ava’s face. Or the fact that she blurted the question that Selina was a witch not once but twice. The good thing was she was managing to keep her voice low enough to not cause further unwanted attention. The teacher’s eyes darted from Selina and back to Ava who was truly having a great deal of trouble with this startling revelation. It was when Ava accepted this news, that Joel got her full attention. She believed. Most girls her age would be arguing how it was the stuff of make believe, fantasy and fiction. Yet, here she was….ready to believe. ~Interesting.~

“Okay. The Back Halo,” It was if she knew more than she was letting on. Joel had no idea what the Black Halo was or even meant, but Ava was mulling it over, as though she might be able to make a connection. Instead of going further, she questioned what Joel thought about how they might track down witches in something like public records. Surely they would hide, she added.

“No doubt they would try to hide themselves from public scrutiny. But they were still part of the society of the day, and so there would be records of their existence, if only by the surname. We could possibly trace them through census or even gazette clippings. If they had that back then.” Joel offering Selina a smile as he said this.

The Teacher placed his hand gently upon Selina’s shoulder and said. “I’m afraid I am unfamiliar with the Black Halo, but that doesn’t mean that we can’t find out more about it. Even if it is regarded as superstition.” He shot Ava a look and then said. “We need to find the earliest books of settlement in the district. Who the leading family was at the time.”

This was turning into a hunt for the existence of witches, not only in the past…..but in the present.

 

~RB~

 

Temp:  Selina kind of figured that neither of them knew what The Black Halo was, so their lack of knowledge was expected. She knew damn well that everything from her past was dead and gone, and that she had to accept it. The thoughts of the past were interrupted by the mention of her being a Witch. It seemed to be a very unexpected thing judging by their reactions. “I am the High Priestess, and all that remains…” Her Grimoire was no longer hushing her or stopping her from revealing anything, as the fact she was a Witch was now out there. The only comforting thing she could find was the fact that neither of them took out a torch to burn her with.

 

Gene:  

https://i1.wp.com/i57.tinypic.com/25q95kn.png
Joel’s instructions were clear. With him being older – and therefore, far more intelligent – he knew what to look for and where to look for it. Ava turned on her heels, pausing when she saw the section they were in: history. Here might be a good place to start searching. Ava wasn’t concerned with what they would find; instead, she knew the knowledge would benefit her. She was more concerned with how long it’d take them. As the whole conversation regarding Witches subsided, Ava managed to put on a masquerade of calmness. Never – in one day – had she undergone the state of shock so many times.

It was a pity she’d enter the state once more when Selina revealed she was the High Priestess of this Black Halo coven. This time, Ava managed to control herself. All she did was look at Selina, blink twice, then look away. She wanted to think it was impossible that the girl could be a High Priestess; Selina was short, she appeared meek and almost powerless; she seemed like a child.

“Should I look at history books, then?” Ava asked Joel, not wanting to go off and come back, realising she had been going through the wrong books.

 

Razorbackwriter:  

https://i1.wp.com/media1.giphy.com/media/yNQs6VHVW79ug/200_s.gif

The Teacher held his breath a moment, when Ava asked if she should be looking at the history books in that section. The weight of Selina’s words was still being felt. According to her, she was the High Priestess of the Black halo coven. That would have been a person of great power and significance. Yet her appearance showed her to be barely a child. A child that clutched a cat toy as though her very life depended on it. Joel thought for a second, as his hand absently caressed the side of his leather satchel, that contained a very old and special tome. It was not one that belonged to the library, nor did he wish to take it out again….not yet. Especially not now. As much as he wanted to help this young girl….this Witch; there was some things that he was still trying to learn and they were in that very book in his possession.

“Look under the history of the occult in the city. They should have something.” Joel’s eyes narrowed slightly as he spoke, only turning his head slowly, to jerk it in the direction in which to find it. He hoped that Ava would simply do as she was told, rather than argue.

Turning his attentions back to Selina, he cast his eyes down at the cat plushie she held. Could this be something of importance to her magic? He decided to ask.

“So….if you are really a High Priestess, then maybe you can explain the toy. I know you have spoken to it a few times. Is it cursed as well?”

Joel was no fool. He had begun to study the girl from the moment that she entered the Peach Cafe, and nothing escaped his attention. He waited with a raised brow for her reaction. It was not like he was trying to take it from her, but more to understand its significance.

~RB~

 

 

“I don’t care, I’m Aussie” – Fitzy and Wippa’s parody of Icona Pop’s “I love it”

It’s the Australia day long weekend starting tomorrow, and so to celebrate here is another parody by Fitzy and Wippa of Nova FM.  For those that tour my blog, you might be familiar with some of their other great parodies.  This one has a bit of extra Aussie flavor and the big coat hanger in the background.  (That’s the Harbor Bridge…..lol)  

I’ll trash the government but then I’ll forget to go and vote
I’ll say “good burley” when my mate is spewing off a boat
Hire a suit and have Khe Sahn as my wedding waltz
There’s cold pizza in my fridge

I don’t care, I’m Aussie! I don’t care

I’ll wave to Aussies as if I know them when I’m in Phuket
Bury my money declare I’m bankrupt just to avoid my debt
I’ll say that’s Warney’s changed since he has proposed to Liz
I hope someone tweets him this

I don’t care, I’m Aussie! I don’t care

Tattoos of our postcodes, in school we make ashtrays
We mosh at a concert, rack up our phones prepaid
We always lose our keys, 5 blokes to dig a ditch
Mow our lawns really short, so there’s a cricket pitch

I’m Aussie! I’m Aussie!

I’ll rack up fly buys for a family trip to Broken Hill
Waste just as much on Powerball just to win the mill
I’ll order waygu steak but cover it in tomato sauce
I miss Video Hits

I don’t care!

I’ll smoke durrys but then I’ll tell my kids they’re not to swear
I’ll get my boobs enhanced and try and claim it on Medicare
I’ll carry slabs of beer on my shoulder with my top off
It is my right to have a whinge

I don’t care!

We think we own the road, Mars Bars and Milky Ways
We’re all wine connoisseurs, we all love Andrew Gaze
We cant remember last night, and that girl you kissed
We love our in-laws, but we can’t co-exist

I don’t care, I’m Aussie
I don’t care, I’m Aussie, I’m Aussie
I don’t care, I’m Aussie
I don’t care, I’m Aussie, I’m Aussie

RPC – Vyvyan Rolero – Blood City Series.

Vyvyan Rolero – Blood City.

 

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Name Vyvyan Rolero.
Nickname : Vyv (Pronounced Viv)

Appearance : Daytime.

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/78/d3/4a/78d34a30e9464abf1a6ed5e538235523.jpg

Gender : Female
Age : 20
Sexuality : Straight.
Personality : Wild, bad tempered, feisty, curious, adventurous, nasty, abrupt, rude, condescending.
District : Vestro
Occupation Works at an iCafe for gamers and computer users.

Coven : None.
Rank : Acolyte.

Bio Born to Don and Celia Rolero, Vyvyan was brought up in an abusive household. Her father, Don – a heavy drinker and gambler died when she was eight years old in unusual circumstances. He was found frozen and with an ice pick in his forehead in the family restaurant freezer. Vyvyan’s mother had a string of boyfriends after this event, but never seemed to settle down. The business was sold and Celia and Vyvyan moved to the outer districts where they were able to find more modest accommodation. While foul play was suspected by the detective who investigated Don’s murder, a distant family member (who Vyvyan has never met) helped to make sure that the evidence that could lead to a conviction was well hidden. Vyvyan’s life was to change after the death of her father. Becoming withdrawn and seeking solitude in her room, she found solice in books and online chat rooms. There was a side to her father however that Vyvyan never knew, until she was rummaging through some boxes after the move. She found a book of spells. After toying with the book, she discovered that she had a natural ability with magic. In particular…dark magic. Her fascination grew into that of an obsession. With each passing day, her powers grow stronger, but she has built up a wall to keep others out, by displaying a very nasty exterior. If she could….she’d paint the world black.
In amongst her father’s papers was a small black necklace, which Vyvyan keeps in a black box. It has a significance, but she is yet to find out the meaning of its true power.

Quote/s :”Do I look like I give a fuck?”

Strengths : Highly intelligent, a fast learner, computer savvy, well read
Weaknesses : Chocolate.
Powers : Currently still learning.

Allies/Family : Mother – Celia Rolero.
Love Interest : None as yet. She is a hard girl to like.
Theme song : Paint it Black – Rolling Stones.